How to Balance Parenthood and Partnership during Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a transformative time for your relationship with your partner as you prepare for a new family dynamic. It’s easy to get caught up in the tasks of planning for the baby (like setting up an RESP for your newborn and budgeting for a new arrival), but maintaining a healthy partnership is important too! Balancing parenthood and partnership during pregnancy lays the foundation for a supportive and loving family environment, after the baby arrives. When both partners in a relationship feel connected and valued, you’re better equipped to navigate the challenges of parenthood together, creating a stronger bond that benefits both you and your growing family.

As a mom of two, here are my suggestions on how to balance parenthood and partnership during pregnancy and beyond.

Communication Strategies

The foundation to balancing parenthood and partnership during pregnancy is good communication. As you prepare for parenthood, openly discussing expectations, hopes, fears, and responsibilities will help you and your partner feel in-tune and aligned with each other. Even in pregnancy, you can check in regularly with your partner and have active discussions about what’s working and what might need adjustment. Among other conversations to have with your partner before the baby arrives, you can discuss your expectations for prenatal care, worries about pregnancy and parenthood, and a birth plan you’d like your care providers to follow.

Understanding the Dynamics

As parents, understanding your relationship dynamics – including your strengths and weaknesses – will help you work better together as a team. Before giving birth, have an honest discussion about what parts of childcare you and your partner are interested in and excited for, and what parts you are not.

In my relationship, my husband and I often take a divide and conquer approach with our kids based on our skillsets and interests. I take care of everything related to feeding, and he does diapering and baths. If I plan an activity for our family, he works out the logistics on how to get us there. If I pack the kids up, he’ll do the heavy lifting and get everyone safely in the car. I’ll come up with art projects with the kids, he’ll rough and tumble with sports.

Understanding the dynamics of how you and your partner can work together as a team will go a long way in helping you balance parenthood and partnership from pregnancy and beyond.

Supporting Each Other

Although it may feel like the pregnant partner does most of the “work” in carrying the baby, my husband played a huge role in shared responsibilities and decision making. For example, he’d drive me to my medical appointments, fill out forms at the hospital, or adapt his work schedule so he could be at check ups. He was also a fully involved partner in helping with researching and purchasing baby items (here’s a newborn baby checklist you can follow), and setting up furniture and understanding products and equipment. After baby was born, he took an extended parental leave so he could be present and involved in the day-to-day aspects of newborn life.

When our relationship felt fair and balanced, I often would share that I may have carried our baby during pregnancy but my partner certainly carried me.

Showing Appreciation

Simple gestures like thanking each other for small tasks, offering words of encouragement, and recognizing the effort it takes to raise a child from pregnancy and beyond can go a long way in making your partner feel appreciated. As your children grow, they’ll look to you –their parents — as an example of how to treat others with kindness, appreciation and respect.

Health and Well-being

Parenthood is a 24/7 responsibility with few breaks. Once you become a parent, it’s a lifelong role! That said, it’s crucial for each partner to carve out time for independent self-care and recharge with baby-free activities, or else burnout becomes inevitable. This could mean alternating parenting duties to give the other a break, whether it’s a round of golf (for my husband) or a spa massage or facial (for me). Set expectations in pregnancy about what ‘self care’ looks like for each partner and how you will work it into your new lifestyle as new parents.

If you’re lucky enough to have childcare, maybe both you and your partner can have a well-deserved, regular night out together!

Maintaining Intimacy

Speaking of a night out, what about a night in? Make time for connection, whether it’s a cozy movie night after baby is asleep, or simply sitting down to talk without distractions. Small gestures like a shared meal or a quiet moment together can help keep the spark alive. Remember, intimacy can grow through shared experiences, vulnerability, and mutual support too. Prioritizing these moments strengthens your bond and reminds you that, alongside being parents, you were first and foremost, partners.