Known as “The Fourth Trimester” the first 12 weeks after giving birth is a time of transition as new moms and dads adjust to parenthood. Feeling prepared and confidently navigating these first few weeks of parenting with your partner will help pave the way for later on when you have to make big family decisions in the areas of finances and education (here’s an RESP Guide for New Parents), parenting style, instilling values, handling discipline and more.
As a mom of two, here are four areas of adjustment for parents to consider when adapting to life with a new baby.
Basic baby care
Newborn needs are quite simple: eat, sleep, poop, repeat. But I’ve found that it’s the neverending-ness of this great responsibility (and lack of sleep!) that adds to the exhaustion new families face.
Together with your partner, prepare for parenthood by understanding newborn care basics like options for feeding (Breastmilk? Formula? A combination of both?) or how to foster healthy sleep habits from birth (here’s 5 Tips to “Sleep Train” Your Newborn).
Then, ensure you and your partner are on the same page on how to approach different situations, communicate expectations, and discuss how to divide and conquer tasks and responsibilities. For example, whenever my partner and I are both at home with our little ones, I will do all the feedings but he’s completely responsible for diaper changes.
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Emotional adjustments
Parents’ mental health greatly affects the well-being of a child.
As if the changes a woman’s body goes through during pregnancy and birth weren’t enough, fluctuations continue in the post-partum period as hormones shift. Progesterone and estrogen levels will drop after birth, prolactin will increase to encourage milk production, adrenaline will surge to get you through those early weeks with a newborn, while cortisol levels will also increase from the stress of having a new baby. In short, your body has gone on a rollercoaster ride, and it can be hard for new moms to keep up or “feel like themselves” again for quite some time.
As many as 80% of women experience minor “baby blues” in the fourth trimester, but if it escalates beyond that to excessive worry, anxiety or depression, it may be time to discuss and seek professional help from a post-partum care provider.
Dads can’t escape emotional adjustments either. Studies show that 1 in 10 dads will struggle with postpartum depression and anxiety.
Build a Support Network
As humans, we are biologically wired to seek community and connection. New families can reconnect with friends with kids, or make new ones through prenatal classes or community groups. It’ll feel less lonely if you have friendships with other new parents when you’re seeking solidarity.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve asked my more experienced mom friends “is this normal” whenever I came across something surprising in my parenting journey.
If you have extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.) who want to be involved in helping with childcare, have clear conversations about how you’d best like to be supported, and set clear expectations on both sides.
In my opinion, this need for a village to raise a child is especially true in the early days of parenthood.
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Don’t Neglect Self-Care
It’s completely normal for a family to feel overwhelmed in the weeks after their baby is
born. It is also common for new parents to neglect themselves when you’re giving your all to your baby.
Your free time will shrink considerably when you’re a new parent, but do try to keep up with
some form of the hobbies and interests you had before having kids. For example, instead of a full round of golf, hit
some balls at the driving range. Instead of a long dinner with a friend, grab a coffee and ask them to join you for
a stroller walk.
Becoming parents for the first time can be overwhelming with a steep learning curve, but it
is also a short season that’ll pass very quickly. For other ways to bond with your baby as parents-to-be, check out
our article on Bonding With Your Bump: 5 Tips for Connecting with Your Baby. Enjoy the ride!
Since 2008, Vanessa has kept her readers and followers ‘in the know’ on local happenings, facilitating for the discovery and support of brands, businesses, and experiences available in Vancouver and beyond. Now as a new mom, she shares her journey of motherhood, inspiring modern women and their families to think... "Hey if she can do it, I can too!"
